Conservatoons on Barking Crayon Frequently Asked Questions
Why do you even bother with FAQs that Liberals won’t read?
It turns out these are mostly for the benefit of Conservatives. They can read and often do. Also, there is a whimsical part of me that wants to believe that some Liberals will eventually get it.
Why are you meddling in this political nonsense?
My objective for Conservatoons, the political arm of Barking Crayon, is to put a Larsonesque skew to the standard editorial cartoon and, most importantly, to extend the shelf life. I do this by using stereo types & generic terms. This is largely out of necessity since I can seldom make time to draw a comic as the news is breaking. I try not to use too many caricatures for two reason: first my talent is limited, second only political junkies recognize most political figures. Standard editorial cartoons just a few months old can be very cryptic. My personal, artistic pet peeve is over-labeling. An example: the classic monster/tiger/ape/storm with the label: deficit/budget/war/taxes. It is for you to judge if I succeed.
Why do you use so many stereotypes?
I will not preface every comic with a disclaimer. I well realize that not every liberal is an ill-groomed, unemployed hippy and that every conservative is not an uptight, be-suited prude. There is a core of truth in stereotypes and I use that as artistic shorthand. This eliminates the need for awkward labeling or superfluous dialog. (see above also)
Whoa! These are boring Political FAQs. Where are the normal FAQs?
Here.
Your “art” is just rightwing propaganda! (not a question)
So. Your education was leftwing propaganda. All of Hollywood is a leftist propaganda machine. Welcome to the real world. Actions have consequences. Stuff costs money. Resources are limited. People are lazy. Losers often lose, etc.
All your cartoons bash Liberals. Is that all you do?
Mostly – except for the hundreds of generic comics and graphics. This is the Political wing of Barking Crayon. Politics is done here. All other sections of the site are benevolently apolitical and focused on goofy humor. Liberals are encouraged not to stray into the deep end of the pool.
Why are Obama's suits purple and ties green?
I am following the Barack Obama Drawing Guidelines. Purple and green are the Joker's colors. His Democrat/Socialist policies and world view are a joke – failed silly nonsense. Obama is an all too typical deluded Liberal who believes that the only reason failed Liberal ideas didn’t work is that the correct Liberals did not implement them. “They just gotta work. They feel so good in theory.” And what will not submit to Socialist dogma he intends to destroy.
Why post your Rightwing garbage here?
I don’t want to preach exclusively to the choir. It is good for Liberals to be reminded that outside their sheltered, dependent enclaves that real Americans are far more conservative than they. Conservatives have a negative image in popular culture and their values are usually misrepresented by the ruling liberal class. It is the duty of every Conservative to push back the socialist hordes wherever they exist. Also, due to the tolerant nature of Liberals they offer such sensible, well-reasoned opinions that are so very helpful.
Why are you so judgmental?
Because I can be. And I wish more people were. Judgment is a much falsely maligned activity. We make judgments everyday about almost everything and it makes no sense to exclude bad behavior, double-standards and stupid ideas from such scrutiny.
Do you hate all foreigners?
No. I'm not fond of most foreign governments. People are generally far more conservative and sensible than their government. When I rant on a country consider it a rant on the policies of the government and not take things so personally. Obama is my president for now and his administration is more representative of the UN than much of America. Smart, sensible people exist all over the planet. Lighten up.
Why do you spell “hippie” as “hippy?”
It cheeses off Liberals and it is fun to watch them go crazy over it. Only Liberals have the time or inclination to let this enrage them.
You’re a conceited American warmonger!!! (again, not a question)
Yes I am. Share that fact with your terrorist-loving neighbor.
You’re a hating hateful hater who hates!
No. I just think liberals are naive and wrong. Their socialist ideals look good on paper but often result in tyranny when practiced. They see the world as it ought to be not as it really is. Some grow up. Most never do. I don’t hate them. I feel sorry for them. It is the responsibility of all conservatives to end to their selfish, destructive agenda.
Don't you believe in Cultural Equivalency?
No. Western Culture is superior, American in particular.
When are you going to stop the Teleprompter comics already?
Never. In fact, they are likely to increase since liberals are so hyper-sensitive about their messiah’s comical dependency. It is like that of a toddler to a diaper: he makes a big mess without it. How do you stutter reading from a teleprompter anyway? A teleprompter in a 3rd grade classroom? C’mon! That has to be an all-time, sad, sorry low even for a Democrat. Liberals need to ask themselves why teleprompters are now called Idiot Boards? Coincidence? - I think not.
You don’t believe Man is causing Global Warming!!! Are you kidding me?
I don’t think the Earth has a set temperature. It has been both hotter and cooler prior to man’s influence. We have modest sway over the planet one way or the other. This does not mean I am therefore pro-pollution. I am pro sensible, affordable solutions, cheap energy and never subsidies. The same folks who say we cannot control spending claim to be able to control climate – if we pay enough. (?) If it is OK to follow the money as it applies to corporations then why is money never considered as it applies to government or climate “science/consensus?” Global Warming is corrupt politicos and toady science teaming up to steal from the rest of us. I am a proud "Climate Denier."
You should show both sides and try to educate readers!
No. The mainstream media show you the extreme Liberal side - and I make fun of it. It is beyond the scope of this gallery to attempt to undo all 7 years of your Liberal schooling. I suggest listening to talk radio and seeking the help of these good folks:
Heritage: http://www.heritage.org/
Cato: http://www.cato.org/
Dennis Prager: http://www.dennisprager.com/
Mark Steyn: http://www.steynonline.com/
Rush Limbaugh: http://www.rushlimbaugh.com/home/today.guest.html
Lars Larson: http://www.larslarson.com/
Global Warming: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122603134258207975.html http://www.s8int.com/crichton.html
Where can I find hundreds of Conservative, Pro-Capitalism, Anti-Obama web graphics?
Right here: RedTusker.
Where can I purchase your marvelous work?
Funny you should ask. But stuff here.
Can I buy a signed copy of your marvelous Toon Compendiums?
No. Since they must be bought through a 3rd party vendor signed volumes are not possible at this time.
Hey, I have more questions Mr. Know-It-All Doodler!
You might be able to find answers at the IAQs.
It turns out these are mostly for the benefit of Conservatives. They can read and often do. Also, there is a whimsical part of me that wants to believe that some Liberals will eventually get it.
Why are you meddling in this political nonsense?
My objective for Conservatoons, the political arm of Barking Crayon, is to put a Larsonesque skew to the standard editorial cartoon and, most importantly, to extend the shelf life. I do this by using stereo types & generic terms. This is largely out of necessity since I can seldom make time to draw a comic as the news is breaking. I try not to use too many caricatures for two reason: first my talent is limited, second only political junkies recognize most political figures. Standard editorial cartoons just a few months old can be very cryptic. My personal, artistic pet peeve is over-labeling. An example: the classic monster/tiger/ape/storm with the label: deficit/budget/war/taxes. It is for you to judge if I succeed.
Why do you use so many stereotypes?
I will not preface every comic with a disclaimer. I well realize that not every liberal is an ill-groomed, unemployed hippy and that every conservative is not an uptight, be-suited prude. There is a core of truth in stereotypes and I use that as artistic shorthand. This eliminates the need for awkward labeling or superfluous dialog. (see above also)
Whoa! These are boring Political FAQs. Where are the normal FAQs?
Here.
Your “art” is just rightwing propaganda! (not a question)
So. Your education was leftwing propaganda. All of Hollywood is a leftist propaganda machine. Welcome to the real world. Actions have consequences. Stuff costs money. Resources are limited. People are lazy. Losers often lose, etc.
All your cartoons bash Liberals. Is that all you do?
Mostly – except for the hundreds of generic comics and graphics. This is the Political wing of Barking Crayon. Politics is done here. All other sections of the site are benevolently apolitical and focused on goofy humor. Liberals are encouraged not to stray into the deep end of the pool.
Why are Obama's suits purple and ties green?
I am following the Barack Obama Drawing Guidelines. Purple and green are the Joker's colors. His Democrat/Socialist policies and world view are a joke – failed silly nonsense. Obama is an all too typical deluded Liberal who believes that the only reason failed Liberal ideas didn’t work is that the correct Liberals did not implement them. “They just gotta work. They feel so good in theory.” And what will not submit to Socialist dogma he intends to destroy.
Why post your Rightwing garbage here?
I don’t want to preach exclusively to the choir. It is good for Liberals to be reminded that outside their sheltered, dependent enclaves that real Americans are far more conservative than they. Conservatives have a negative image in popular culture and their values are usually misrepresented by the ruling liberal class. It is the duty of every Conservative to push back the socialist hordes wherever they exist. Also, due to the tolerant nature of Liberals they offer such sensible, well-reasoned opinions that are so very helpful.
Why are you so judgmental?
Because I can be. And I wish more people were. Judgment is a much falsely maligned activity. We make judgments everyday about almost everything and it makes no sense to exclude bad behavior, double-standards and stupid ideas from such scrutiny.
Do you hate all foreigners?
No. I'm not fond of most foreign governments. People are generally far more conservative and sensible than their government. When I rant on a country consider it a rant on the policies of the government and not take things so personally. Obama is my president for now and his administration is more representative of the UN than much of America. Smart, sensible people exist all over the planet. Lighten up.
Why do you spell “hippie” as “hippy?”
It cheeses off Liberals and it is fun to watch them go crazy over it. Only Liberals have the time or inclination to let this enrage them.
You’re a conceited American warmonger!!! (again, not a question)
Yes I am. Share that fact with your terrorist-loving neighbor.
You’re a hating hateful hater who hates!
No. I just think liberals are naive and wrong. Their socialist ideals look good on paper but often result in tyranny when practiced. They see the world as it ought to be not as it really is. Some grow up. Most never do. I don’t hate them. I feel sorry for them. It is the responsibility of all conservatives to end to their selfish, destructive agenda.
Don't you believe in Cultural Equivalency?
No. Western Culture is superior, American in particular.
When are you going to stop the Teleprompter comics already?
Never. In fact, they are likely to increase since liberals are so hyper-sensitive about their messiah’s comical dependency. It is like that of a toddler to a diaper: he makes a big mess without it. How do you stutter reading from a teleprompter anyway? A teleprompter in a 3rd grade classroom? C’mon! That has to be an all-time, sad, sorry low even for a Democrat. Liberals need to ask themselves why teleprompters are now called Idiot Boards? Coincidence? - I think not.
You don’t believe Man is causing Global Warming!!! Are you kidding me?
I don’t think the Earth has a set temperature. It has been both hotter and cooler prior to man’s influence. We have modest sway over the planet one way or the other. This does not mean I am therefore pro-pollution. I am pro sensible, affordable solutions, cheap energy and never subsidies. The same folks who say we cannot control spending claim to be able to control climate – if we pay enough. (?) If it is OK to follow the money as it applies to corporations then why is money never considered as it applies to government or climate “science/consensus?” Global Warming is corrupt politicos and toady science teaming up to steal from the rest of us. I am a proud "Climate Denier."
You should show both sides and try to educate readers!
No. The mainstream media show you the extreme Liberal side - and I make fun of it. It is beyond the scope of this gallery to attempt to undo all 7 years of your Liberal schooling. I suggest listening to talk radio and seeking the help of these good folks:
Heritage: http://www.heritage.org/
Cato: http://www.cato.org/
Dennis Prager: http://www.dennisprager.com/
Mark Steyn: http://www.steynonline.com/
Rush Limbaugh: http://www.rushlimbaugh.com/home/today.guest.html
Lars Larson: http://www.larslarson.com/
Global Warming: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122603134258207975.html http://www.s8int.com/crichton.html
Where can I find hundreds of Conservative, Pro-Capitalism, Anti-Obama web graphics?
Right here: RedTusker.
Where can I purchase your marvelous work?
Funny you should ask. But stuff here.
Can I buy a signed copy of your marvelous Toon Compendiums?
No. Since they must be bought through a 3rd party vendor signed volumes are not possible at this time.
Hey, I have more questions Mr. Know-It-All Doodler!
You might be able to find answers at the IAQs.