Barking Crayon Comics
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Frequently Asked Questions:


What is the purpose of this gallery?
It is my way of sharing stories and ideas.  I’d like this site to be one of those internet rabbit holes that turns out to be a very pleasant surprise and a site folks want to explore more than once since I add approximately 5 comics per week.  Perhaps most of all I want to viewers to feel that they are not alone and that humor is not reserved for a single political class.

Things to consider when browsing the stacks:
1.     The cartoons are roughly chronological with the earliest 0001 which could have been drawn in the 1990’s but was not committed to pixels until 2005 or so.
2.     Occasionally I have several similar cartoons on the same point.  Sometimes I will draw a whole new comic.  Other times I will just change the text.  It is not uncommon to have 1 – 5 sets of dialog or gags for a drawing.  Usually I pick one but sometimes I do a 2nd or 3rd version.  The purist would insist that each idea have its own drawing.  Alas, I have too many unrealized comics to be that guy.
3.     I have resisted the urge to redraw my old comics.  I hope this shows how I have improved.  Please excuse some of the earlier works.

​Why should I "buy you a coffee?"
​Do you buy books?  When you buy a book you basically pay up front for the work and hope that it is a good value.  If you do your homework, you can reduce the risk but not eliminate it.  Well this site/gallery has reduced your risk to zero.  You get to try before you buy.  I have placed my wares before you and ask that you pay what they are worth.  This is an honor system transaction.  For reference: a "standard" cartoon book contains about 200 images.  A large compendium of cartoons has about 400-450.  There are over 1800 cartoons here and much more.  So, if you found my work entertaining then a small donation will be greatly appreciated and motivate me to carry on.

Do you do any traditional comic art?
Not really.  I do a pencil sketch (samples here) and then use a black marker.
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Why don’t you use traditional methods & materials?
They are messy, take up a lot of space and are not as quick.
 
Is this the very best Comic & Nonsense Gallery on the internet?
By far.
 
Are you a professional? Are you syndicated?
No and no. I’m just a part-time hack laboring in obscurity and manning a remote outpost on the net.  I draw a minimum of 5 comics per week.  They are on this site and other galleries.  My comics also appear on other sites - many of which I know nothing about.  Printed comics and syndication are waning arts/businesses. 
 
Where do you get your ideas?
Same as most people: friends and family, TV, internet, talk radio, living life.  The question you should really ask is:  Where to you get the time? Contrary to what many think, the bottlenecks in the process are time and talent (drawing ability.)  Transforming a whimsical notion into a concise single panel comic often demands more talent than I have.  I do what I can.

I have a great idea. Can I send it to you?
No.  Please draw it yourself or have someone else do it.  I have very limited time and a huge backlog.  Also, most "ideas" fall into two categories: 1) half of an idea – usually needing an additional something I cannot always define.  2) An old idea – an idea that has been drawn many times in many ways.  Please Google your idea before shopping it to artists.

Ideas are not an obstacle.  I am plagued by ideas.  My current situation is fairly typical.  I have a notebook of about 1500+ written ideas.  Next, I have about 300 pencil sketches in various states of readiness waiting to be inked.  Once inked, they are scanned and lettered then placed in a file (200+) to be colored and posted.  In short,  I have a backlog of 4 or 5 years at my current pace.
 
Do you accept commissions?
No.
 
Why not?
Several reasons but mostly because I don’t need the money.  I have a real job and do this as a fun hobby.  In my opinion, commissions (freelance artwork) add another dimension of pressure and futility.
 
Why aren't your graphics in higher resolution?
a) They are meant for the web.  b)  To get high resolution copies you must request permission and/or buy.  c) Thieves must work harder.
 
Can I use a comic for… X, Y, Z?
In general, yes if they are for personal use such as blogs, online favorites, wallpaper, personal sites, a refrigerator, cubicle, classroom etc, yes go ahead print, use, display.  However mass publications, for profit enterprises, etc. : No.
 
How many single panel comics have you drawn?
About 3600:  70/30 generic to conservative.
 
You are just a hack ripping off Gary Larson!!! (Not really a question, I know)
“Hack” part is purely subjective. In the spectrum of art ability I think I fall somewhere to the good side of average and therefore hack does not apply.
 
I make no secret that I am a big fan of Gary Larson.  To the best of my knowledge Gary Larson penned his last syndicated comic in 1996. All his work is featured in the books: Far Side Gallery (1-5), Pre-History of the Far Side and The Last Chapter and Worse. Please present proof along with any plagiarism rant.
 
Now, have I bit-surfed? (“bit-surf”- a la Dennis Miller: to take somebody else’s idea/bit and add to it or tweak it slightly (surf)) Yes, I have. Everyone has. It is possible that I have subconsciously taken a gag from somewhere else, but I have no intention, desire or need to plagiarize.  Also, folks might have taken my ideas.  I have been posting since 2005.
 
Why do you use so many stereotypes?
I will not preface every comic with a disclaimer. I well realize that not every liberal is an ill-groomed, unemployed hippy and that every conservative is not an uptight, be-suited prude. There is a core of truth in stereotypes and I use that as artistic shorthand. This eliminates the need for awkward labeling or superfluous dialog.
 
What is with all the typos?  How stupid are you?
As a rogue artist I have no editor and my graphic software does not include a spellchecker.  I use you good beings of the interweb as my editors.   Usually they are honest mistakes - I get so wrapped up in getting words to fit a space I lose the big picture.  Or I have re-written the caption 20 times and have driven myself crazy.  Sometimes they are out of ignorance but not often.
 
Who is Carl the Pig and why do you weasel him into your comics?
When I need a non-human conservative to make a point I often ask Carl to help. Part of his compensation is in the form of face-time in other comics. You can often spot him or his friend Ed the Cat on products, pictures, toys and in the background of my comics.
 
Do you sell original art?
No.
 
Why not?
Mainly because the original art is not as good as the computer enhanced copy (see Nuts & Bolts) and I probably place a higher value on it than the market does. 
 
Where can I purchase your marvelous work?
I have 3 ebooks.  They have somewhat of a theme and are higher resolution w/ some fancy footer art.  However the best way to support this work is a coffee.  Books and merchandise net the author/artist a very small return: 10 to 30 percent.  So a $3 coffee is about the equivalent revenue in $25 of merchandise.
 
Hey, what about other important questions?
They are below:

Infrequently Asked Questions:


Why bother with infrequently asked questions?
Just call me a stickler in this regard.


Why should I come here to get my crayon barked?
Where else are you going to go?
 
What is it with all the Bigfoot and Shark Week cartoons?
​
They fun, popular, and are pretty easy to draw.  Both are a good stereotype to use:  Sharks for a mindless, killing beast and Bigfoot for an elusive, mysterious beast.   I would put Aliens, cows, chickens, snakes and more in the fun, popular column also.

Can you curl your tongue?
Yes.

Do you donate a portion of your profits to worthy charities?
What profit?

What is with the bacon flavored ice tea?
Everyone likes bacon and tea.  Why shouldn't the 2 be combined?  Think outside the glass.

Why are there so few IAQs?
I have not had time to formally answer them all.  They will be added soon.  Read some comics in the meantime.

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